Good Deed My Ass!

Jaded, callous, and cantankerous;

once upon a time it wasn’t so.

All the losers, users, and parasites

transformed me, if you must know.

My gentle, gullible, compassion

made me easy prey, or so I think.

I fell for all the yarns they spun

and gave plinkity, plinkity, plink.

‘Hey buddy, can you spare a buck?

No, well then, how about a dime?

Please listen to my sad, sad story.

Give me a moment of your time.

I need cash to pay the bridge toll.

I need some cash to feed my kids.

My clunker car has run out of gas,

now my new job’ll be on the skids.

Your time, money, and sympathy;

is that too much for a guy to ask?

Just throw me a ten, or a twenty,

I’ll thank Jesus and go buy a flask.”

I’ve never really had the money to

share with even the truly in need;

but I’ve pissed away a small fortune

on boozers in the spirit of good deed.

I’m now living on a fixed income,

there’s less sand in the hourglass;

all that I have remaining is mine,

so go to hell, you worthless pains

in the ass!

~gj duerrschmidt

For more by this writer:

The Orangenous Zone