Key West: Road Rage is Rising Again in Margaritaville

I recently came back to live in Key West following eight years of being away. A disappointing discovery was seeing the significant reduction in the numbers of bicycles and scooters on the quaint little island's narrow roadways. They once added to the unique laid-back-from-way-back charm of the place. Motorists now have overtaken the crowded island with their big, over-sized trucks and SUV's, and what's more, I've witnessed a growing prevalence in road rage over the two years that I've been back.

Angry, impatient drivers in fast cars, quick to blow their horns at pedestrians, and what few scooters and bicycles remain, is an affront and abomination to the history and true spirit of this place - or what had always been its spirit. I felt the need to document my displeasure toward this recent change, and this poem is what resulted; appropriately written to the rhythm of Jimmy Buffet's 1977 Margaritaville:

Drivin’ down Truman,

I passed by a woman,

leisurely biking along in the right lane.

The huge pickup before me,

cuts her off so damn rudely;

blowing its horn as she falls down in pain.

Chorus:

Road rage is running rampant in Margaritaville;

scooter and bicycle riders receive verbal assault.

Witnesses claim there are mad drivers to blame;

but you know, perhaps it’s nobody’s fault.

Money may be the reason,

folks are angry all season;

paid too much for their brand new big cars.

They make it their new roles,

to become angry road assholes;

rather than chilling it out down in the bars.

Chorus:

Road rage is running rampant in Margaritaville;

scooter and bicycle riders receive verbal assault.

Witnesses claim there are mad drivers to blame;

do you think, it could be the cyclist’s fault?

Here comes the ringer,

he flipped her the finger;

turned shouting, “Get the hell out of the way!”

Yes, this is just one accounting,

but the numbers keep mounting;

as more drivers act out aggressions every day.   

Chorus:

Road rage is running rampant in Margaritaville;

scooter and bicycle riders receive verbal assault.

Witnesses claim there are mad drivers to blame;

and you know, I’ve seen it!

It’s clearly the drivers' damn fault!

~gj duerrschmidt

For more by this writer:

The Orangenous Zone